Well, today was a much better day than the past weeks. I got approved for unemployment! Yeah! And I can get reduced COBRA benefits. Double yeah! Now all the worrying about how I was going to keep getting meds and see doctors is off my shoulders.

My psychologist (saw him again today) says I am functioning well despite everything I am going through. For those who don’t know, I lost my job, my insurance, and have to deal with the deaths of 2 great aunts and a cousin in the past 3 weeks. So much loss in such a short time period. No wonder my dreams are all screwed up right now.

My doctor also got me set up for vocational rehab. Never heard of this before. Every state has one, I guess. I can get re-trained in a new job field at a reduced rate or free. I have a social worker assigned to me, and a vocation counselor. All this seems unreal, that it could all be free. They assure me though, that I won’t pay a dime.

So I have finally stopped picking my skin off my body. Only had one short break today, and I stopped it myself. Now if only I can stop doing everything in 3s, but I guess that’s never going to happen. And the bugs keep appearing too. I try so hard to ignore the hallucinations, but I just can’t help myself sometimes. I will start seeing another psychiatrist in 2 weeks, trying to get me to deal with everything and not keep ignoring the crap I’ve been through. I feel like the whole psychiatric community is going to know my problems! I feel a joke coming on…..how many psychiatrists does it take to heal the mind of one very screwed up OCD patient? Maybe 3 is my magic number after all.

You guys are so great. Thank you for all the support!

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