I had a birthday recently and I gotta say that it was a lot better than last year’s by far. It was very different to have people around you that love you and were glad you were born. To end this rant and tell you this story I need to begin with another story.
My last birthday was one of the worst days of my life. My husband weeks before had asked for a divorce stating we were not meant to be and his parents blamed me with my ocd for everything even though I did my best to take responsibility for my actions and get the help I needed. My husband was supposed to be there for me and he left me out to dry. That day started out ok, a dear friend took me out to get my mind off of things and plus he needed someone to help him get his new puppy home. My in-laws nagged my husband about a matter concerning the wedding ring, which I sold because I needed the money, so much that he called me to say that they would buy it back from me even though I already sold it. To give you some background, I offered the ring back to my husband and his family freely before I sold it but no takers. I was told they were concerned that I sold it so quickly and for cheap in their opinion. Concerned enough to remind me already on my day of birth that I would never be good enough for them and in their mind I was nothing more than a crazy screw up who didn’t deserve their absent careless asshole of a son.
I then was told by my husband that I needed to sign paperwork at the courthouse because this was the only day available for me to do so according to him. I was moving back home out of state 2 days later but the man had at least 3 weeks to do everything. Instead of cutting cake and celebrating, I was in a court house waiting to end a marriage I thought would last forever. Instead of feeling loved I felt like no one would ever love me again. It never ceases to amaze me what human beings will do to each other. I just wish that day could have been erased or at least a bad dream. At least I could’ve awoke and stayed that way (my dreams pick right back up where I left off when I go back to sleep). Oh, I almost forgot, I did at least make my wish. No candles nessesary to make one of those. I wished that my next birthday would be better and surprisingly, that one came true. Granted eating dirt would have been better than that day it was nice to know I didn’t have to face another birthday with the blues.