just thought id let ya know…i had been paying my youngest’s dad a tenner out of my benefits every wknd when he has his son over, for tha last 3years-i have 4 kids(two teens who eat twice as much as me,bless em).this man is a bully.he’s a good dad in many ways but i had to get out of tha relationship because he is so controlling..also constantly bad-mouthed me to our son(ive put a stop to this also as i caught him at it last week when our son was chatting to him on speaker fone-lithium batteries are especially bad for kids btw)producing alot of resentment&confusion in our son.this man is ‘on benefits’yet has a car,a superbike&sails at our local sailing club.hmmmm.i also buy all of my sons uniform,clarks shoes,pay for school trips,bday party gifts etc etc..i wrote him a letter to tell him i could no longer afford to give him this tenner-cue screaming abuse down tha fone at me&threats to not pick his son up&blame&more abuse.this man has big big probs but will never address them.ive even suggested pro.mediation but he thinks he’s above that.sometimes-and it has been suggested by others-i really feel it would be better for my son to not have any contact with his pa considering tha negative programming he instills in his son which is a constant heart-wrenching difficult in un-doing for all of us as a family to deal with…yet,he is actually there for his son which is a damn sight more than my other boy’s dads.innefective tw8s.anyhoo.his abusive calls didnt solve anyfin…i bumped into my son’s dad’s(lets call him’sloopyboots’)mum tha very next morn&had a long in-depth chat with her-luckily she know’s what he’s like,how to handle him&easy to talk to,she was goin to call me anyway7said she was happy to take our son to his pa’s&that she would have a strong word with him to be aware&beware of putting his negs&neurosis onto our son…seems to have done tha trick.he brought our son to school on monday morning&didnt speak to me-no bad vibes either,just nothing.our boy was happy to see me,no bottom lips or hurtful comments.its a shame because after 5years,sloopyboots&i had managed to be quite cheerful&civil with each other(it cost me ten pownds a week mind you) but now it seems like we’re back to square one with tha communication…tha difference now being our sons not bein emotionally poisoned now&ive stood up to tha last bully im ever gonna tolerate in MY LIFE!and that feels sooooooooo good.right.im gonna post this now.hope i dont get one of those’bad request’thingys.my typing’s so slow&this took me ages.thanks for readin,dear friends xxxxxx