I just had a unexpected end of a relationship with the woman I thought I was going to marry. The first 2.5 years were nothing short of amazing she had her own mental health issues but that was okay. I understood that she had them and I was there to support her and help her through. I can’t say I was perfect either my own insecurities flared up probably 2 times. We decided to move to Oklahoma and that was the beginning of the end. Her mental health got bad the mood swings the anger the nit picking the turning something that shouldn’t cause a argument into a argument. And then talking over me and not letting me finish what I was saying it only resulted in a yelling match and I am ashamed. I’m ashamed that we let it go that far. She picked me up from work on at Patrick’s day and said she was leaving to move back to Ohio. I said this really sucks but okay I love and support you in all you do. The next day she changed her mind and came running back. I welcomed her back with open arms my heart had been fixed. 4 days later she’s leaves again I helped her pack all her stuff up out of our apartment and saw her off tears streaming heart pounding. A few days later she wants to see me she is no longer going back to ohio. I welcome the thought of us fixing our relationship I am hopeful. We decide that a lot of the problems we were facing stemmed from us not being happy in Oklahoma so far away from our friends and family we’re going to move back. Well 3 days later she doesn’t want to do it any more. She wants a break she doesn’t know what she wants. This doesn’t feel right for her anymore. All the fighting that she created is now my fault and she doesn’t look at me the same anymore she doesn’t feel loved and now she’s upset about my insecurities that flared up 1-2 years ago? She says she knows that she loves me she just needs to process. So we go our separate ways for a few days. The whole time she’s liking my Instagram pictures and all my social media things. So I blocked her. I got a text the next morning saying “oh so I’m blocked now? You don’t care if I did?”
like you’ve broken up with me 3 different times now. What am I supposed to do? I talk to her she says that she knows she wants this and we can fix it. I love her more than anything in the world. I agree. She leaves again only to come back and to leave once more. Now she won’t even talk to me because I blew up the last time and said some hurtful things. I apologized immediately. But that doesn’t work. I’ve tried reaching out she reads them and doesn’t say anything. My heart is broken. I have never felt this low about someone leaving.
I am hurting. I’m confused. I don’t deserve this
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