My mom was just diagnosed with skin cancer, and has been in and out of the hospital for over two months now, the first few hospitalizations weren't that bad, she was alert, even cheerful. but this most recent hospitalization, she is so confused about everything, from her own name, to what year it is. She was in ICU for 3 days, and im frustrated at the doctors because they released her into a regular room when the confusion started, and now its worse than ever. Im frustrated that the nurses aren't concerned about how confused she is. I terrified that maybe the cancer went to her brain, but recent MRIs show otherwise,
why aren't the doctors concerned about this??? she sometimes forgets who she is. and gets aggressive when contradicted. this isn't normal, but it seems that im the only one concerned. more fluids is their answer, but it doesn't seem to be helping. and Im scared that im going to lose my best friend to cancer.
I don't know why she is so confused. I pray its not the cancer. Im frustrated with myself for sometimes being impatient with her when trying to explain the situation to her.
its frustrating watching someone you love so dearly suffer so much. I know that the confusion scares her as much as it scares me. Im staying at the hospital overnights to watch over her because i don't think the nurses really care, at least that's their attitude suggests.
Im frustrated with God, for letting this happen. Its not right, nor is it fair. I feel like im losing faith in all i know to be true. why is this happening to us? what did we do to deserve this punishment?
at times i just want to scream, and other times, i just silently weep. im scared. i don't want to bury my mom yet, Im only 22 and its not fair. I want this nightmare to be over with.
Thankfully the doctors say that the cancer is highly treatable and with chemo should go away, but its hell going through it now. I don't know if im coming or going!!!