As soon as i gain control of you, why do you show up inside of me once again. Stop starting over with me. Stop getting my hopes up. Letting me feel a sliver of happiness then snatch me ten steps backwards. I know I don’t love me because my brain is me. And if it really loved me, it would let me go. Yet, it won’t. Again and again, I have to go through the process of pain. I have to betray myself and cause my self-sabatage over and over again. I restart the cycle of hurting not only myself, but those around me once again. What do i need to do to get rid of you. Or if i can’t get rid of you, please just take over my heart too. It’s the only thing you have yet to devour and it’s keeping me alive and present during the agony. So just do me one solid and either leave me for good or take me over the little piece of life I have left in me. Take my faith. Take my morals. Take my love. Release the rest of the pain you have left for me. Let me go or take me whole. Whichever you choose, please do it sooner than later. Don’t let me loose the fight. Make me surrender. 



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