I’m so sad and angry at the same time. i just want to give up. this semester i onlt took 3 classes and i had no job and still i didn’t get the best grades. they aren’t bad but one of them isn’t what i excepted. i don’t want ot work cuz i feel i’m not ready but i need to. i’m tired of not being able to see my boyfriend when i want to cuz of his two jobs. i hate that we don’t have water in my house cuz my stepfather is an asshole who won’t pay it. my cousin is in nicaragua sick and they don’t know if he is going to live. i wish i can trade places with him so he can live and i die.My only friend who i start to hang with again her boyfriend was pissed off at her on monday night and start saying shit about me using her to kill time and to go out with her and that i didn’t care about her. i’m so mad at him for saying that he had not right and she is just happy with him if the tables were turned i would be pissed off at my boyfriend cuz she was there before him. but i guess i’m not important to anyone. than on monday night my boyfriend and i got into a fight over some issues from the past that i have with hima nd he doesn’t want to understand.:sad: i had a weird dream yesterday that i was with my ex boyfriend and that i found out he was cheating on my again and all those old feeling came rushing back in. i don’t even know why i talk to him i guess cuz i’m lonely. my friend is trying to get me a job where she works but they haven’t called me for an interview. i just feel like shit today….totally useless and not important. i’m so tired of everything i just want to give up and die. 🙁