Things have gone downhill a little bit for me. My ocd has been getting worse, the more i improve in one area the more a different area worsens. has anyone have this happen to them before during ERP therapy. while tackling a lesser ocd problem the bigger ocd problem gets worse. I am also ticing so much too i get this tickle inside or i feel so uncomfortable that in order to make it go away i "tic" sometimes its a facial thing or a hand movement or a shoulder. i feel like i can control the tics but at the same time i feel like i can\'t. i thought i was part of my ocd considering it gets so much worse when i am having ocd thoughts but like once or twice during the ocd time when i am not having ocd problems i still tic. so i am a little confused maybe i am over thinking it. i also can\'t hide these tics i use to but now they are coming out while i am around my family or in public it is very ackward. i know my family has noticed but i think they are waiting for me to say something. It has been harder and harder to formulate thoughts on paper or in a blog it just seems so choppy and not as smooth this concerns me too. i tried to write a letter to my friend but i just ended up putting it off the letter didn\'t flow right like my other letters do. this worries me i hope there is nothing else wrong and it is just the constant stress. even this i am going back to read it and to me it is choppy it doesn\'t flow right. robotic almost. Sometimes i feel like it isn\'t ocd at all and that it is something more serious, my Behavorial therapist makes me uncomfortable in her office because there are times were she doesn\'t say anything after i answer a question and she is writing things down and the silence is uncomfortable, she is good at what she does though. but i am afraid/ don\'t know how to tell her to fill in the silences because it makes me nervous. i also don\'t trust her. i trust my other therapist but not this one because i don\'t know her well enough. she is good at what she does though…one month and i\'ve almost conquered my door checking, she doesn\'t pressure me at all except for getting out of my apartment more but that was something i already knew. its kinda hard to do that when you live in a semi-isloated small town and your friends live in the city and your friends are busy most of the time. i feel so broken and defective…..i need some advice what do i need to do. how do i get out of my apartment to spend time with people, i spend tons of time with my family everyday just hardly any with friends and….i don\'t know i say i want advice but i don\'t even know what i need advice on…i want to be a normal person again with proper social skills but i honestly feel like i am just bumbling around in the dark trying to figure out how to develop social skills i want to go hang out with people but i hesitate because my social skills are such crap. one or two people know what is really up and give me TONS of leway but the rest do give me leway but they don\'t know what is up so they don\'t give very much, but at least they do give some. i\'m so insercure, self esteem is crap and i\'m self absorbed and i HATE it, but no matter how hard i try to change i keep falling back on these old ways i don\'t know what i am doing wrong….i really want some want some guidence i feel very very very lost. i try to help people on here i don\'t know if i am making a difference, often times i will read something and i want to put something down but i don\'t know what to say or i am afraid i am going to say the wrong thing. am i going in the right direction here? or do i need to change my game plan. i just want to get better and be normal but i dunno if i am on the right path.


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