Have had an emotional day. My parents went back to Anchorage today while I was at work. I wanted to hug them good-bye, but didn't want to wake them up before I left for work.

Anyway, I keep worrying about the cat who seems to have a cold. It's one think to be concerned and quite another to keep freaking out about it. Grrr. Stupid panic attacks! I am getting so sick of them!

Anyway, the biggest thing today, though, was the creepy guy who seemed to be following me and checking me out at the library. I thought I was just being paranoid. After all, who would be checking me out? I'm not that much to look at. To make a long story short, he talked to me and told me I was very attractive and he'd really like to hook up with me even if it were just for sex. Ugh. Meanwhile, he keeps touching himself inappropriately. Even after I turned him down, I could feel that he was still watching me. It was really creepy. He kept walking around to different places, and I knew he was watching me. Every time I didn't know where he was, I started really freaking out again. I knew I should just go to the front of the library and sit where I could see my sister working at the circulation desk, but I was too determined to look through the books I'd picked out and it would be a real conspicuous hassle to haul all of them that far. I also knew I should probably tell someone about this creepy freak. But I was having a panic attack, and didn't want to talk to anyone. So I just kept close to other people. Meanwhile, I kept having images of being raped in the stacks or of someone coming up behind me and stabbing me or something.

I don't think I've ever been so creeped out before in my life. I've been even more freaked out, but not creeped out. It doesn't help me at all that for once my "paranoia" was founded. At the time, I was just too anxious to even know if I was overreacting or if his behavior really was that creepy and inappropriate. Later I told my sister about it and realized yes, it was that bad. So I told the librarian who was in charge today about what had happened. Of course, by then, he was long gone, so it's not like they could do anything about it. But anyway… Glad to be home and glad to have been able to tell my friend about the whole experience. Been needing to talk to her about it for hours. Thank God for her! She's awesome!


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