Entry 8 –
okay so I had a pretty eventful day yesterday. some things happened that I couldn’t talk about. I find that I overstimulate myself too much, what I mean is I’m on the computer all day or just staring at screens in general. In my “line of work” that’s sort of what I do. I edit a lot of video and play video games. Even though it’s fun I feel like I can be too obsessed with those things and as a result I’d like to scale back on the screen stimulation from time to time. Unfortunately there is some work I need to take care of and I can’t pull myself away this time. I’m hoping soon I can just go take a walk to the park and enjoy the screen free time.
Anyway, until then, here are my worry thoughts for the day:
What if my heart palpitates? If then so what, if it’s a problem I’ll know and we can do something about it. Usually it’s not though and hasn’t been so far.
What if I’m doing something I shouldn’t be, what then? I only think that way because I was taught the wrong things growing up. There isn’t anything to be afraid of or inherently “wrong” with it. If you are safe and comfortable and stop when it becomes “too much” you should be fine.
What if I’m stimulating too much? Then I will take a 10 minute break, close my eyes slow my breathing, stretch, etc. Just like you brought that energy level up it is possible to bring it down before it’s “too late”.
What if I don’t get enough done today? Please I have nothing imminently important to do right now and I have plenty of time to do it all. Do not worry about how much you get done. In an ironic way it will probably take away from your ability to get things done (worrying wastes time, loses your focus, etc.)
What if I can’t go outside? Then I’ll come back home and try again in an hour.
What if it’s too dusty to be in my room? Then I will go outside, while I air the place out.
What if I didn’t live my life right yesterday? Then I have an opportunity to do it better today.
What if I’m all alone? Then I will turn the tv on and have something going in the background or contact a friend.
What if I can’t eat and won’t weigh enough? Then I’ll take a break and eat when I’m hungry again.