so, I guess first with what went well. My time at the gym today was good. I always like working out. even though i have a past of abusing it, it's always been something I've enjoyed.

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and the girl I work out with, her name is Chirsty, is very nice and for the most part (except for my own akwardness) is able to put my social anxiety at ease.

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now, Things have been up and down with my mom tonight, but at the moment we're OK.

/

Though the appointment today was chaos. I walked out on him. yep, I was so over his shit. I walked.out. I have no regrets. I cried alot though, and have a major heacache from it.

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long story short, i've been properly diganosed with "borderline personality disorder" so THAT was fun. but I sort of knew it anyway. it was more of a shock to mom then it was me.

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My brother and dad don't know yet…ha…he did however finally, properly say that I have been through alot and it was understandble. he acknowdledged it.

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he also took me off haldol (even if he didn't i wouldn't have taken it anymore anyway) and he uped my sleeping meds and xanax.

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so it was a very…interesting session. though thankfully I don't have to see him again until december! 2months without him 🙂 that puts my mind at ease already.

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though I didn't do well food wise today, I hardly had anything. my intake was very low plus I exercised so it's basically all used up.

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I'm falling back into my restrictive behaviors. No one but myself knows this. and I don't think I can come out and say it. part of me is happy to be back in those behaviors. it's familiar.

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well, I guess that's it for now. Hope you all have a good night. talk to you tomorrow.