Once again, today was pretty good for me for the most part. I distracted myself by visiting an old friend and we went to ride horses. I almost had a panic attack driving home from her house tonight, but I immediatley stopped mysefl somehow. I just started thinking about something else, and eventually I forgot I was starting to have a panic attack! My…(well, I guess we can now call him my "Ex" boyfriend) friend came by tonight to get the rest of his stuff. I got some boxes from the grocery store and packed all his crap in it and left it outside the door. At some point this evening his friend picked it all up. It's kinda sad seeing all of his stuff gone 🙁 I am watching dvd's him and I never watched together before so it's not so hard remembering watching it with him. I can't watch t.v. b/c even the commercials remind me of him. I mean shit, we were FINE Friday night, and all of a sudden a tsunami hit our relationship. It happend so fast I feel I have whip lash. I'm back to work for the next five days. i dread it, but at the same time, I need to be there for my sanity, and to obviously make money so I can pay my bills! haha. I also found out today that the sherrif who lives in my apartment complex has the hots for me. lol! It's very flattering, but I am in NO way of starting ANY relationship except friendship. I don't want to disclose my "Boyfriend's" name, so I will call him "Bob" I miss bob very much, and I just want to know he's ok. I'm sure he is. I just worry about him b/c he has anxiety too just like me. He's a big boy right? If I can live life, SO CAN HE! Ughh.. I feel I'm having a conversation with myself here! Lol. On that note..I'm off to bed.

2 Comments
  1. Shelley5716 9 years ago

    what I hear here is u dealing great with the loss of a relationship … ur doin good … 9 months ago, I had to let some ppl go out of my life in order to live! Its hard, and hurts, but at times it just has to be done for our own good.
    Yes he\'s a big boy and will be fine … funny thing is, they dont suffer over it as much as we women do …
    Hope u have an amazing day!!!! Ur doin good, keep up the good work.

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  2. Jrs8436 9 years ago

    Thanks for the encouraging comments!! At Redrhapsody: He has NO choice but to stay away from me.. Court order. I think it\'s for the best so I don\'t have to listen to him say he will change and blah blah BLAH! hahaha

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