I really don’t know how to start this.

So basicially, I’ve been struggling with my sexuality for years now. I identify as bisexual, and most of the time I never question it. But I do have frequent bouts of doubt. For starters, I have no experience with women. I don’t have any experience with men either, but I’ve gotten more a grasp of my attraction towards men. I feel like I always have to prove to myself that I’m bi. I guess I don’t want to find myself living a lie. It’s kind of weird (or just plain stupid), but whenever my attraction towards women surfaces-whenever I catch myself staring or thinking about women-this rush of relief and validation overtakes me. But, whenever my thoughts or fanasties switch over to thinking about men, that’s when the doubt hits. “Am I really bi?” “Am I thinking about men too much?” ” Do I really like women?” “Do I like one gender over the other?Does that still make bi?” All of this is just mind-bogglingly frustrating.

I guess a lot of my doubt comes from the idea that “bi people are just confused” and will eventually find out they’re really gay or straight down the line. And honestly? It never felt right using any of those term to define my sexuality. I like guys and I like women. Sometimes I feel more attracted to one than the other, but I never felt more gay or more straight because of it. I don’t know, I’m still getting the hang of things. It’s been two years since I’ve considered myself bi (I kinda considered it “coming out” to myself), and I’m still learning. I haven’t told anyone and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff with, so I joined this site to became vocal and open about this part of my life.