Where I live, the stigma of mental illness is really wierd. Almost everyone here is aware of mental illness, but ignorant as to what the signs, symptoms, and hallmarks of depression are. Ask anyone what the signs of suicidal planning are and they'll tell you that they are social withdrawl, giving away personal items, obsession/idealism of dying, self-harm, substance abuse, and expressing a desire to commit suicide. But, how many times has a person (not in mental crisis or ill) treated a mentally ill person like dirt when they take a chance and express their suicidal thoughts here? Practically, everytime. They are labeled as being selfish, childish or just wanting attention, they're condemned to Hell, and alienated from friends/family. What hurts the most here is that everyone knows someone who has killed themself, everyone expresses grief and surprise when they hear of another suicide, everyone acknowledges there is a major problem here with suicide, and yet, everyone continues to shame, bully, and stigmatise those with mental illness. Instead of condemning someone to Hell right away, wouldn't it be more divine of that person to try to help the other? Isn't that a part of loving thy neighbor? Shaming someone for being mentally ill is the standard here.So why bother being open here? If I talk about my mental illness, I just want attention. But if I don't talk about my mental illness, then everyone tells me to open up to them. I can't open up to a professional because they'll lock me away for telling the truth about me having suicidal thoughts every single day for years. I just don't say anything to anyone anymore, if they ask what's wrong I just say I'm tired or have a headache and then ask them something about them to divert attention away from me. I don't want people thinking I'm a drama queen or obsessed with being the center of attention.

1 Comment
  1. Star2015 6 years ago

    I expressed my suicide thoughts to my husband last night. His response was fear and telling me that I was selfish and didn't love him enough. I don't think it's judgment per say but fear of not being able to the other person that drives the response. Even though my mind tells me to justify my suicide as I'm doing what's best for others I know that's not true. The pain of leave behind is selfish but doesn't show a lack of love for those around me. It shows that my courage is wearing thin. It's a struggle to make it another day without doing something I can't take back. But that struggle is what we need to do. Find a reason to live another day. Even if that is just so you are not hurting those you leave behind. I'm sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. Venting helps. Let it out any way you can but be honest with yourself when you do. The worst thing you can do is listen to your mind tell you justifications for commuting suicide because that's not rational. Listen to your soul not your mind because it tends to trick us into thinking what we feel instead of what our soul feels. Good luck with your struggle. You are never alone. 

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