So today, well,yesterday, I managed to snap my mind to a slightly better place than usual. I even walked a mere 4km for no real reason & visited an old school friend. It was nice. But as usual, I go up & come down hard… With the exception of DT, I feel so lonely… I have no-one to really let myself out with… I just wanna hold someone tight that genuinely cares about me for a change… I love physical contact. A hug is the most amazing thing ever. I can just hug & never let go. May come across as somewhat weird, but atleast I don't wanna get down everyone's pants like most guys these days… It's pathetic. I always respect others as I wish to be respected & never invade someone elses space for my own desires. Not that anyone I've come in contact with the past while gives a damn about loyalty or respect… Makes me feel like being nice only ever puts a "gullible guy ripe to be walked over & taken advantage of" sign above my head… I donno… Anyways, I'm officially flu-sick, but I don't really care. I've got too many other things on my mind that are troubling me (which oddly helps with the dealing of feeling like crap). I know I'm gonna grieve, find a way to make sense of my thoughts, be fine for a while (usually a day or so), then come down again… It's very demotivating. But I'm trying… It's so hard not having anyone to be intimate with in terms of sharing my deepest grieves. I can't simplyspeak to anyone about everythingon my mind, some thingsare just way to delicate/sensitive… Well, I can obviously, & I do a lot, but it's very difficult… Most people I know don't really care much about anything other than themselves… I'm so used to having to work things out for myself, that I often don't have the ability to see from a 3rd person perspective… I don't believe I'm a good person (cause of the things I've done), but I'm certainly not the scum of the earth… Why am I so lonely?
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the life of a transgender teen
TransGenderAlex, , Depression, LGBT, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Relationships, 0
for the teens who are finding themselves or just interested in my story. hi, my name is alex brown....
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But, The Wrecking Ball Was Already Swinging. And, I”ve Never Known WhenTo Duck.
thebadkitty, , Depression, 0
Written last night (I passed out, and posted it this a.m.): I’m not as desperately upset as I was. ...
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Transformations
OrangeTree, , Anxiety, Depression, Career, Domestic Abuse, Forgiveness, PTSD, Therapy, 0
“I no come this life to suffer.” – Tiwa Savage I wish I had this mindset earlier on. I’ve...
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Not creative enough to think of a title at the moment
ImJustMe_Alexx, , Depression, Stress, 0
i'm the kind of perosn who keep everything in. No matter what people tell me about letting things out...
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Just Another Day
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Happy New Year everyone! I hope that it started out well for everybody. Myself, I went to sleep around...
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None
carrotflower, , Depression, Child, 0
i'm honestly just trying to hold on. for a while i was able to be happy at some times,...
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Super Sick, Hanging On
KnockedDown, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Medication, Relationships, 2
This has been a very very tough week for me. First, on Tuesday at work I got a warning...
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Could It be, Really? Probably Not.
Di, , Depression, Anxiety, Forgiveness, Sleep Disorders, 1
A Date……He picked me up, he was tall, polite, well spoken, but an even better listener, insiteful. He drove...