Feeling really sh*tty at the moment.  Feeling disconnected from the world in so many ways.  Feeling unispired for any changes and lacking the motivation for making changes.  Feeling hurt, angry, resentful and shunned by my family.

On the other hand, I feel a sense of possibility with a couple of things in my life now.  I’m thinking of not continuing to carry my medicare insurance and prescription coverage.  I can get my medication from samples the Dr. gets. and I don’t need to be picky about what I get.  I could add almost $200 too my social security check by not carrying these insurance benefits.  I need to money to help myself in other ways…like with fixing my car and other important purchases.  I have no idea how dumb this idea is but I will find out.

My brakes on my car are going to cost me over $300 to fix (what really sucks is that my car is turning out to be a piece of shit with dents and other interior damage).  However the engine is still very good.  My fault for not taking better care of my shit.

I am going into my Spirituality group in about 10 minutes.  I hope I can settle my nerves and recieve a positive message from whoever is talking.  Lately feeling totally disconnected with the group and this is attributable too my anxiety overtaking me.  I need to give this up too Holy Spirit to take, while I relax into whatever message I am meant to recieve.  ACIM can be very confusing to me at times…and Not being able to make sense of things is a real bummer for me.

If you read this, I ask that you keep me in your prayers of hope and love.


1 Comment
  1. WadeAlexander72 13 years ago

    $300 to fix your brakes isn”t all that bad really. Mine cost about 500$.

    You could pick up the brakes yourself and then the garage will put them on for you – it could be a cheaper option.

    My car is a complete piece of crap so don”t be too upset. The main color of my car is ”scratch”, the secondary color is ”rust”, and there”s more wrong with it than good. I get looks in that car alright…people must think I”ve just come from a demolition derby.

    We all have down days, you”re just having one. It will pass and you will continue to kick this in the butt. Have faith in yourself, you”re stronger than you realise.




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