Lets see well I actually slept in today untill 2pm, which was a major over sleep. However I worked yesterday and my allegerys were killing me (not the best speller) lol, so i felt so tired and weak all day I only got maybe a few hrs of sleep the night before that probally has everything to do with being tires. Anyways I slept untill 2 woke up and took a 2 hr bath, I feel like the bath is my me time. Ive been muddling over and over in my head how to cope and fix anxiety/ depression and I read alot on the net and self help book as well as listen to free siminars online. I feel like by doing this figuring out thing 24-7 its consuming my being thats all I do with my free time, im obsessed! Its not a good thing but I think that one day I will find the perfect answer. My biggest thing is the social anxiety, I havent been like this my whole life for only about 5 yrs now on and off. I love people and fun conversation and being out in public and when I get super anxious I shut down. And I panic! ughh then read everything I can get my hands on. I really just want to get my extervert life back and not be as fearfull anymore. Then thing is that I dont know what started this for me and how I contunne to get to this place day after day. I have alot of life to fuffill still, im engaged and I want nothing more than to be able to fully enjoy all that life has to offer with my bestfriend. I have currently shut myself down from the outside world, the friends and social life, right now it feels like its too much. I also havent been going to the gym. well anyways I really am a newbie to blogging, I am hoping that tomorrow gets alot better and all the negative head thoughts/ feeling dwindle down to nothing. Im a very strong girl and have been in the past so im ready to kick this in the face and start to take my life back over and enjoy every second of it.