Driving around campus, I\'m looking for a parking space . The parking garage is not too far from the building where my classes are. I, absolutely, need to find a space on the first level of the garage. I don\'t want to take the elevator and I\'m afraid that I\'ll over exert myself with the steps. Yes!!! Someone is backing out of a good space. It\'ll be a great day now. I don\'t have far to walk to get back to the car. I make it over to the building. My music business class is on the second floor. I have to take the stairs. As I take the steps, I count, "1, 2, 3, 4….1, 2, 3, 4" , until I make it to the 16th step and second floor of the building. It\'s a hot day, so the draft meeting me in the entry is more than welcomed.

 

While waiting for the professor to enter the class, I pull out a pencil/pen and my notebook. I\'m scribbling words in small script, so that no one else can read what I\'m writing. Writing things like, "I am strong." and "What if I make it to the top of the mountain?" I try to keep myself calm by keeping busy. It works for the time being. Once the professor arrives, I know it\'ll be okay ( he seems to always get off subject and go into these long stories). Yes!!! I\'ve made it through the first class and now I\'m off to one of the practice rooms to work on my song until it\'s time for my second class to begin in about 20 minutes. I have the same professor for my sound recording class. I\'m always so calm in this class because it\'s so interesting to me. It takes place on the first floor, in the studio and it\'s always easier to go downstairs .Yes !!!! I have made it through the night. I happily waltz to the parking garage and to my prime parking space. Tomorrow, I\'ll have an electronic music class with another class to follow and the process starts all over again.

 

Tomorrow has arrived. After leaving work at a job that I am beginning to hate, I go directly to school. The long procession of cars into the parking garage is not a good sign. My electronic music class is in the same building as my other two music classes and I want to park close to the building. No luck. There is no way I\'m parking on a higher level. What if I have a panic attack? I drive over to the parking lot adjacent to the garage. I guess I\'ll have to park here for today. Before cutting off the air and the car, I search through my phone for someone to call. The conversation will take my mind off of the walk. Yes!!!! My friend, Robert, answers his phone. I\'m sure he wouldn\'t mind sparing a few minutes to chat with me. I can\'t let him know the reason why I really called, because at any other time, I would not be so eager to call him, or anyone else, for that matter. I\'ve made it!!! I let him know that I\'ll call him back later (knowing I had no intention of doing such) because I\'m about to walk into the classroom. a 2.5 hour class isn\'t so bad because I have a piano and a music production suite in front of me. My mind is on creating music and this is exactly what this class is for. Class is over. It\'s dark out and I need to run over to the lot, get in the car and make it to my next class within ten minutes.

 

 No luck with parking for the next class. I have to park way out of the way. Although there are several other students walking in the same direction as me, I\'m dreading the walk to this class. Right!!! I did tell Robert that I\'d call him back. Let me do that. No answer. Damn!!! I\'ll call Joe. No luck there. So I just walk to class. It\'s too bright in here. I\'ve made it to my class and take a seat. Heart is beating 100 miles per minute. I can\'t let anyone know what\'s going on. There were no seats left that were close to the door. Pen and paper… I need my notebook!!! I need to run!!!! I need to escape!!!! Still 35 minutes left in this class??? I just can\'t seem to daydream….anything to take my mind away from this class. Bam!!! It\'s over. I, calmly, walk back to my car and drive home. What a day. Super happy, I go to bed, rested, calm and inspired. A typical day in the life of me.

1 Comment
  1. veritas144k 11 years ago

    Wow we are strong people who function with anxiety. My boss today reached over my back and slammed my computer closed. I reported him to corporate security let\'s see what happens. Anxiety all day very difficult working.

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