when i was feeling ever thing i wanted to feel nothing but now that i do feel nothing i hate it every time i feel empty i feel like i’m not real i feel fake it’s as if i’m a robot just doing has told but can’t feel anything.
i want to feel everything but when i do stored to feel every thing i will want to feel nothing again and i hate it just like i hate myself. i feel so empty and numb it’s like i’m in a cage with no lock or door keeping me in but i just can’t get out and when i try to leave i get pulled back in to the cage and i hate it i just want to be happy and not empty. i always feel like i’m being controlled. but by what? by what i do not know i’m just being controlled and i hate it that is all i know.