When enough is never good enough. Why I feel cheated by life? I done a lot of the right moves but not got the results I wanted that were lasting. Well Im 48 so maybe Im too old for a relationship. Maybe Im too old to be a successfull artist. Maybe Im too quiet and modest to make many new friends.

Most of all Im annoyed that 2 of my family members are happy to give me advice on what to do in life which is usually get a job or now its be a gardener. But they wont help me enough financially for me to do what i want to do or what Im trained to do. Its ok to give moral judgement but I cant see myself getting another job and Im always trying business enterprises and investing what little money I have just to get ahead. And according to them why Im stuck in my situation is always my fault and I cant expect others to help me out all the time. Well sorry but if I earned that much money and they were in my situation I would help them a lot more, not sit there and pass judgements and make conditions on their help. Im gratefull for their help but Its never enough to get me self sufficient and prosperous myself. Im happy with a loan also Im not expecting free money. So I just applied for a credit card if I get it. Trouble is my mum complained to me in 2005 for taking out a bank loan when I needed to pay my rent and other things. I dont see I have much choice.

Who is spending much money on non essential things in these financial hard times? Why cant people buy art from their local abstract artist? For example.