I feel down and listless today. I am on a beautiful BC island looking after my sister’s gorgeous place and yet I want it to end. The constant ups and downs are too hard to handle. I am so tired of feeling these emotions. I feel worried about my daughter’s relationship with her boyfriend. They are so often at odds that I project my own old life with her father onto it. The worry fills my body so that even if I try not think about it, I still carry it around. If it wasn’t that it would be the guilt I feel about the mistakes I made raising my son. He says being around me makes him feel bad. I want to know more about that. What is making him feel this way? It’s hard for me to do things as it is without having this guilt weighing me down. Death would hopefully stop this constant painful living. Of course I won’t do it. I care too much about everyone. And so I keep dragging this bag of pain everywhere. I could try to let the bag go. But I care too much about my kids’ well being to do that. Is it helping them for me to feel guilty? Of course not. Would it help them for me to let go of it and live happily. I doubt it. They already think I am so no.
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Problems
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 2
Another lonely train passing through the night. The eastern breeze carries it here and makes it sound like it's...
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what does it matter?
delane1, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Grief, 0
i really dunno where to begin on this…. *sigh i’ve been circling the drain for a while, now, and...
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Holidays=&*$!@
BLeigh05, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, 0
So that title, basically that just means all the expletives in the human language are going to be muttered...
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You want some fucking more!?
Vividnightmare, , Depression, Child, Depression, Suicide, 0
So we went to Mayhem Fest, holy shit yes! Fucking awsome once Mastadon was done, I've never really listened...
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Sing Me To Sleep
Amelia64, , Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Medication, Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, 0
Things have been really hard. This past week I have struggled to even get out of bed and most...
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Kicking & Screaming–or When Will I be done doing my time on the LSC(Lost Soul Circuit)
gomizzou, , Depression, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Therapist, Weight Loss, 4
I want to know….all kinds of things…I WANT TO KNOW why the laws of the Universe dictated that I...
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Stalkers…who should I beleive?
GetBetter, , Depression, Relationships, Suicide, 2
Today the problem is really coming to surface. For the past week and a half my boyfriend has told...
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163lbs
Steph_jn, , Depression, Child, Depression, Stress, 1
Today I couldnt get up. Seriously could not. I wanted to. I knew I should. The dog needed to...
I feel like you do everyday. Trying to find reasons to hang on. I have a very supportive family with two beautiful children yet I can’t break the cycle of ending it all.