Even on Sunday. Remember that.

The reason evil rises early, is it sleeps like a baby, because it has no conscience, regret, heart or soul.

So while you were tossing and turning all night, worrying yourself ill over every problem in the cosmos, tormenting over every bad thing you've ever said or done, punishing yourself for every human mistake you've ever made in your life, and panicking about what will happen tomorrow… Evil was snoozing happily away, dreaming up new ways to mess with your mind and fuck up your world. And evil will rise very early, well rested, maybe just before dawn… and give you a rude wakeup call to let you know the shit has officially hit the fan.

Evil called me this morning around 6:66 am. I don't know why yet, because she didn't leave a message. But rest assured, whatever it is, it won't be good news. Perhaps evil enjoys making me sweat. That sweet slow suspense. Wait, wonder and worry. Surely she delights in my pain.

I'm up now and drinking, to brace for the storm. I texted evil back because I do not dare call. My text simply read; "Problem?"

Evil doesn't understand why I'm such a nervous wreck. She's never once asked, because she really doesn't care. Such is the nature of evil, the ultimate malignant narcissist.

But if I could tell her someday, this is perhaps what I'd say.

Evil rises early, and she can't wait to call. When I get early calls, it's always bad news. Here are just a few examples of many calls I've received before dawn:

01, your grandma is dead.

01, your aunt passed away.

01, your uncle was murdered in a robbery last night.

01, your friend has been shot and is clinging to life.

01, This is the police. We're inside your house. Your roommate is dead on the sofa downstairs. Unlock your bedroom door and come out with your hands up.

Update: It's nothing serious this time. Which is good news for me because evil doesn't get her petty facking FB drama is much less serious than her unresolved Daddy issues. And I have much bigger fish to fry, such as convincing my ex to finally explore how she feels abut the execution of the serial killer who shot her father and murdered 8 people.