Hello, all. I’m here and was hoping to be able to create a safe haven. If anyone wants to talk and be friends, I’m okay with it, trying to get over my anxiety.

My main problems are my OCD, Anxiety, and Depression. Not on medication and I’m hoping I won’t be. Pills are scary.

School, it’s freshman year. I’ve never felt so stressed and like dying. I watch everyone walk by, either pushing, running, or walking past me. I get afraid. Of how they look at me and if they’re gonna judge me. I can never speak up loud enough and I’m always by myself. And when people do talk, it always seems forced, like they want nothing to do with me. I don’t know what to relate with them about, I just want to stop being shy.. And there are girls who I went to school with last year. Now, I see how many friends they’ve made. I envy them a bit.. Just.. seeing them with other freshman and sophomores.. I want to be able to be like that and talk to people..

For my OCD, I’ll stay up late almost every night, writing papers for school. I know I need to take breaks but, my mind won’t allow me. I end up starving myself and making myself sick. I don’t get enough sleep and I just feel terrible.

Ah, depression.. I’ve never felt so useless. So stupid. I’m questioning why I’m even doing this, I’ll look like an attention seeker. I always feel like the scum of the earth and like I don’t deserve anything. I get scared to share my problems because I feel as if I’m just whining..

That’s all I have to say for now.

If you want to be friends, I’m looking forward to it. Call me Ralphi 🙂