*i didn’t see him last night*

i wish that i could run away

or die soon

cause all i feel is burning rage

want to turn it loose

 

i know that to commit

is to lose

but i need to get out of this

i get to choose

 

to stay alive

or die

if i go,

then i’ll be fine

 

but i can’t see the calm

if i stay

haven’t even published a song

it’s the only way

 

hope is way too small

to calm my fears

but even when i’m gone

it still keeps me here

 

i’ve been hurting way too long

want to disappear

but hope will make me strong

if i know that you’ll be near.

 

but i don’t

so that’s why i fall

wish i could float

but my strength is gone

 

so i just watch you dive beneath

and grab my hands

like a treasure at the bottom of the sea

i’m filled with sand

and while i think through these fantasies

my feet touch land

and somehow you mean so much to me

that i change my plans.

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