Not much new happening today. It's actually a nice breezy day that almost feels like autumn is on it's way. And its in the low 80's so I'm definitely not going to complain about that.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by all that I have to get done today. Okay, let's make that the things I "should" or "could" get done today. That takes some of the pressure off. I'm on cold medicine and it makes me tired, despite the Ritalin. I'm already ready for a nap and its only 10 a.m.!
Last night was not pretty between Aaron and I. Aaron accidentally kneed Zach in the face last night, and Zach started crying immediately because it hurt ~ and Aaron just sat there. I grabbed Zach and asked him if he was okay and to let me see it, and Aaron still sat there. I looked at him, disgusted and told him that he should at LEAST apologize to Zachary.
"But it was just an accident," he replied.
"I don't care!," I told him.
So he said he was sorry, but did it in a way that was both mocking and ugly ~ not an apology at all. And for the first time in our whole marriage, I slapped him. HARD. He looked at me hard, and told me not to do it again. I told him that we needed to talk NOW, out on the porch.
I apologized for slapping him, but told him that I WOULD NOT tolerate such ugliness towards our child. If he didn't like it, he could pack his crap and get the hell out. Let's just say we fought for quite awhile before we both calmed down enough to talk civilly to one another. I called him out on his mean streak with our son and told him that I wouldn't put up with it anymore. Zach doesn't deserve it, and I refuse to let it happen again. I also told Aaron that he needed to grow up and be a parent for once, instead of acting like a child as well. This is just the tip of the iceberg about what was said. I'll leave the rest alone.
So last night was very tense. I slept on the couch. I wasn't feeling well due to the cold I have and was still upset with him.So he slept alone, which was fine with me. With all of the issues we're having I'm seriously considering moving into the den for awhile and sleeping nights there. Yes, its getting that bad. I truly don't know if this marriage is repairable. He's lost my trust, he's not a good or loving parent most of the time, he's good to me but sneaks around behind my back, and last night he almost accused me of using him for the money he brings in and the health insurance he gives me. I told him flat out that if that's what he thinks then he needed to get out NOW. I'm not that type of person, and I will find a way to do it on my own. Screw him.
Okay, so I'm done ranting. I think I am anyhow.
I need to go to the bank, drop by Winn-Dixie and talk to my supervisor about quitting and give those shirts to my friend, and then come home and fold laundry and clean bird cages and sweep. Cleaning the bird cages is a lot of work and it's gross. One of my least favorite jobs!
I guess I better get off my butt and get going if I have any hopes of getting a nap in today. (sigh)