These past couple days, I’ve been feeling a bit better overall, but now I’m being reminded of something that stings me deep within my heart. Every time I tell my parents or any family member about my sadness, nobody cares. It’s not the type of neglect and negligence you would think, because they do sit and hear me out. But all they’ll do is state all of my problems (problems that I’m very aware of) and proceed to tell me to “get better” “you gotta get yourself out of this.” I’m so tired… all my mom wants to do is throw me in a hospital because she’s tired of dealing with me. Y’know how much that hurts? My mom…probably one of the only people I have in this world. I talked to her today, and guess what she did. She got up and walked away…saying “I’m tired.” What am I supposed to do? Literally what is wrong with me? I stay up all night thinking what is wrong with me, what I can do better the next day, and that shit never works. It literally never ever works. And all people see is how pathetic, how bitter, how annoying and nonsensical I am and collaboratively agree that I’m some nuance and a waste of time. I want to get better… I know what things I’ve done and mistakes I’ve made. But all I am is reminded of what hurts me, what happened, why I’m the horrible person…when I just want to know how to fix myself. I want somebody to tell me. I’m just so tired of being alive. Being alone. It seems like not a soul in this world is going to care about me. I’m “too much” and “people have tried everything.” Maybe I will just take my life.