hi everyone,

here I am day 3. I'm hanging in. I find it helpful and important to ask for help as much as possible, even from those who don't know they're offering it. I needed to stop at the store to get some abstinent food but the closest store is one of my favorite binge places. I only go to this store to get binge foods really. When I shop for real food I go across town to the big one. So I got my friend on the phone and she gabbed away while I ran through the store trying not to look at anything I shouldn't. I made it through quick and got out of there. One more part of my day navigated successfully (abstinently). going to any lengths is really important to me. And I don't even think I realize what this is going to mean for me. I'm not going to be able to hang out like I was at people's houses. I spent whole weekends at my sister's and my best friend's places. But eating junk foods is such a big part of the weekend. Even when they don't mean to. And I can't ask them to change their eating habits for me. It doesn't even feel reasonable to ask them to hide all forms of sugar and junk foods. I've also decided to give up the booze too. I have alcholic tendencies too though its not my drug of choice but I do drink with my friends and when I drink I binge on bad foods. And I binge drink and black out and keep going for hours. It really sucks to have to try to subtly ask what all went on the night before because I don't remember. anyhow, they all try to assure me that i'm not that bad, that I'm don't have a food problem or an alcohol problem. But when I point out that I get blacked out drunk every time I drink they don't make eye contact. So whatever. I guess I'm going to have to kind of stay away until I feel confident enough to stay abstinent with other people. anyhow, that's all i've got for now. today is day 3. go team.

Joyce