It all started when i had my little girl, She was born premature and also had heart problems i was 21 and had been with her dad 6 years but he had to work away as a security guard so i moved in with my mum untill id had the baby but when i had her i had phoned him and heard loads of girls laughing and having fun at our  house so as my daughter was so ill and in special care so i was so upset he was having so much fun. After that i had no time as she was ill all my time was spent at the hospital and i then sort of became a single parent my mum and dad were my support. when she was discharged she had her heart problem and special needs so i struggled on my own and turned to weed for comfort  and this is how my addiction to drugs all started  few years on i started to get really paranoid and started to think i had cameras in my house my daughter went to live with my mum and i carried on smoking and getting paranoid and even started to think my daughter was a robot ,that was the last straw for my mum and she had me setiond under the mental health act so when i was in there they said it was cannabis and stress induced scicosis and was put on quetiapin and i gradually slowly got better when i was allowed back to my house i was still on my own as my daughter still lived with my mum so i had stopped weed as i was scared of it but after a while being lonely started making new friends and then started crack as i was too scared of weed and that was over 10 years ago and what a mistake that was …. even though my mental state has never gone back to the bad paranoid state it was in then my morals and behaviour has totally gone out of control doing things i would have never done befor all for drugs .Any way ive been staying with my mum for two weeks over   the xmas helping out with my daughter and to be honest my family had finally had enough of me and my selfish behaviour so iv stayed off all the shit for two weeks and feeling better for it … monday i will contact my housing so i can try and get a transfer as being in my house that enviroment will more than likely trigger me off so ive still got a long way to go but the guilty deppressing feeling of taking drugs is not there now

1 Comment
  1. alizamay 2 years ago

    Aw. I hope you and your little girl end up alright. Right now, I’m glad that you are trying. That’s all that matters. Stay Strong.

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