I  have really bad depression and anxiety due to a constant struggle with not having a caring mother due to her own issues that she refuses to acknowledge, and lately my anxiety has been getting way worse. I have been looking for a job for about a month to try to support me and my fiancé because he has PTSD and is hard for him to work, even though he is really trying to do what he can. I finally got a job but its only part time and I’m so worried that I’m not going to have enough money to support us both.  My fiancé is looking into a job that would be really great pay but who knows if he will get it. Due to my loving and caring nature I feel the need to be independent an fix all the problems and take care of everything even though in trying to fix everything, instead of just letting it work out it causes me more stress.  I constantly look at everything in the most negative life and just expect myself to fail and for everyone around me to fail me. Every time I solve one of my stressful issues I just find something new to stress about. I have tried to find a hobby to help with my stress but I just end up finding everything boring or feel like I cant accomplish it. I bought a dog which helped comforting wise but it causes me stress money wise to take care of him. I just feel like no matter what I do nothing seems to help me, the only things I found to work is sleeping a lot which just lets it disappear for awhile, which I know isn’t healthy, and talking to my grandma but it only works while I’m taking to her and then an hour or so after then I just get back to anxiety and depression, and its not like I can talk to her all day. I have also noticed that the more I have anxiety and depression the crankier I get and I end up taking it out on my fiancé when he doesn’t deserve it, I’m worried I’m hurting our relationship even though he says its fine and is always there for me I just feel extremely self conscious. Does anyone else have similar anxiety’s and no a way to help it?

1 Comment
  1. delane1 6 years ago

    Brit, i’ve had the crankiness, before, especially where financial stress is concerned. Have you tried talking to an outside source–since you’re worried about finances, maybe someone like a pastor or mentor? i get the positive vibe when you’re talking to your grandmother. Could you maybe record some of the things she says that could actually help, later? (What i mean: if she has a way of talking to you that simply helps, maybe some of the phrases or positive ideas she shares–something of that nature.)
    The ptsd is no joke. Has your fiancee spoken with anyone regarding it?
    Do the two of you discuss the finances, or are you the worrier, mainly? Your fiancee should know what’s going on–good, bad, or/and ugly–as well. You’re going to have to find ways to let some of the load go, sooner or later. It took me a long time to learn that one. i wound up in a bad state, before it really started making any rational sense to me. Please, don’t let it get THAT bad.
    If you ever need a shoulder or wanna just vent, feel free to drop a message. No worries. ***hugs***

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