Today is the first day I have joined this website. It’s actually the first time I have acknowledged the fact that I am going through something bigger than what I tell my friends and family. I have had anxiety for quite a while now and I have depression which is kinda new for me. But there has always been one other thing that I’ve pushed to the back of my head.It’s honestly hard to even type for some reason. I am bisexual. There I said it.
It’s not that I don’t support any relations with the same sex, I do 100%. I support love. But I just can’t seem talk about my personal experience with it. I know that my mom would except me and she is the only parent figure in my life so I don’t have to worry about my parents not excepting me. I do have some family members that wouldn’t be so expecting, but if I’m being honest thats not the worst part.
I’m scared for the awkward conversations with my friends and family. I don’t even know where to begin. I am 17 and I have memories form when I was little when I used to look at women in magazines wearing bikinis. I used to look at them in a… I want to say sexual way, but I was like 10. And as I got older I for sure had sexual thoughts about women/girls.
I had a boyfriend when I was 14-15 years old. We dated for a while and I sometimes had the thoughts of being with a girl and wondering what it would be like. I loved my boyfriend we had an okay relationship, but thats another story.
I just haven’t told literally anyone. I don’t know what to say. I just want to blurt out in the middle of a conversation with my mom “I LIKE GIRLS”, but then of course I know that I would actually have to explain myself. Which I’m not looking forward to. I think I should just write her a letter so I don’t have to say anything. I just want to understand and except myself.
I hope that this website will allow me to meet new people and find myself. And help me with my journey with anxiety, depression, and bisexuality.