STRANGLED BY THE SYSTEM!

I’ve been in the system for a year and maybe others are like well I’ve been in it my whole life and others are like thats a long time to be in foster care. Foster care is something i hate and the things i’ve gone through hurts me emotionally and physically. They try helping me by taking pills every night and day. But what they don’t realize is that I’m not a machine and you can’t fix me, they try to tell you can do it but all i think about is me trying to climb up the hill but realize its getting higher and i’m falling back with the chains on my legs. Foster care for me is basically a kid who isn’t loved by anyone but i’m talking about my situation. People tell me that we all care for you and so does your mom, but they don’t realize that my mom thinks i’m a liar and is slowly trying to get out of my life even when she thinks idk. Most of the time i want to die but when i tell someone they think im lying and just seeking for attention and im not so i tell them ok you think i wont well let me tell you i will prove you wrong and i will kill myself and they wont let me off campus for a day and the time i’m at school i get ready to say goodbye to the cruel world but…there is always something that stops me. When it’s time for therapy i tell them i’m fine but i’m wearing a mask and behind it is me crying. Days I cut myself up and others put me down. This cruel world is just now for me.