There is this feeling that it's getting on my last nerve and it's called betrayal, and want to know something else? It all comes from my sister and I always set myself up for it. How many times does she has to betrayed me because that is what it's called when you are left a lone when clearly you were there for that person when they needed you the most.
I will start by saying that 3 years ago she went through an eating dissorder and eventually depression. After coming back from the hospital, a couple of weeks later her girlfriend broke up with her. Oh God, how many nights did she cried for some stupid little girl, how many times did I held her and cried with her, how many times was I there too listen to her feelings and emotions, how many times did I cried and worried for her? And let's not forget the suicide note that she left her ex-girlfriend and let's not forget me being in class and her girlfriend coming there to show me the text message. Oh right and please let us all not forget that morning that I left my class to call my sister and see if she was alive. By all means let us not rememember how frantically I was that morning and how scared I was for us- my family, myself, and specially my sister.
Now that 3 years have passed all the times that I needed my sister she is never there. I never, NEVER, ask her for anything and the times I do she always ends up dissapointing me and being selfish. I get that you cared for yourself but can she get over herself and help me. She hurts me every time and I hate her every time and I hate myself for expecting that maybe, maybe, this time she will be there for me. She is the only sister that I have, but what good is that if she's never there for me.