I want to stop feeling sorry for myself. I don’t want to cry anymore. I just want to be genuinely happy. Where do I start to do that? Other than letting it hurt and letting it go. Yes, I need to do that, but I don’t know where to go from there. I’m going to look up how to stop feeling sorry for myself and go from there….

On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%. And that’s pretty good.”

When you are feeling very down in the dumps ask yourself these 20 questions: 1. Did you take a shower today? 2. Have you eaten anything healthy in the past few hours? 3. Have you had any water to drink in the past hour? 4. Did you get enough sleep last night? 5. Have you gone on a walk in the past 24 hours? 6. Is it daytime, are you dressed? 7. Is it nighttime, and you can’t sleep? (Put PJ’s on, get stuffs, pillows & blankets, put electronics away, turn on sound machine, lay down for 15 minutes with your eyes closed) 8. Do you feel unproductive? (Think of a small thing you can do today) 9. Any recent medication changes? (Talk to your Dr) 10. Do you feel unattractive? (Go back to question 6, take a selfie, and name two things you like about yourself) 11. Did you sing today or dance today? 12. Do you feel frozen by a major decision you have to make? 13. Have you hugged someone recently? 14. Have you given someone a compliment in the past 24 hours? 15. Do your friends know what you’re going through? 16. Are you focused forward, or do you dwell on the past? (You never know what wonderful things may be around the corner for you. Allow yourself to hope and dream; set goals, and look at the road ahead instead of your rearview mirror.) 17. When is the last time you’ve told your story? (Write) 18. Have you exhausted yourself lately- physically, socially, emotionally or intellectually? (You need time to recharge. Watch a funny movie, spend time alone, or sleep a few extra hours this week) 19. Have you waited a week? (When life starts to get you down, it’s easy to feel like things have always been this way, even when that’s not true. Today, it’s important that you make a commitment to keep yourself going for a week, whatever it takes. If you are still feeling this way seven days from now, get help from someone you trust. You deserve to feel better and there is a lot of help out there for you. Never give up.) 20. Have you talked to a counselor recently?

Behave in a manner that makes it hard to feel sorry for yourself. Do things that make it harder to indulge your own catastrophic thoughts. This may involve getting up off the couch and getting moving. Physical activity can do wonders for your mental and emotional state. So go for a walk, take a jog, or start cleaning the house. {Moving your body can shift your mindset.} You might also do something kind for others. Volunteer for a charity, help a friend, or simply find someone in need. {Kind acts remind you how much you can give to others and prevents you from staying focused on what you think other people should be doing for you.}

Exchange self-pity for gratitude. While self-pity causes you to think “I deserve better,” gratitude is about thinking, “I have more than I deserve.” And changing the way you think can ward off self-pity while also improving your life in many different ways. Studies show gratitude offers a multitude of benefits ranging from better sleep and improved health to more mental strength and better resilience to stress. There are many ways to practice gratitude. You might write in a gratitude journal every evening. Or, you might make it a habit to think about {three things you’re grateful for} every time you’re tempted to complain about how bad your life is. The key is to find a gratitude strategy that works for you. When you begin to recognize everything you have to be thankful for, you’ll no longer be tempted to throw a pity party.

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