Okay, I've been doing this for at least two days now. I keep pressing/grinding on one of my teeth. It really hurts when I press on it so hard with my other teeth. It doesn't hurt otherwise. But Ican't stop making myself grind onit, making it really hurt. I don't know why. I think maybe it has something to do with needing todo the same thing on both sides of my mouth, and it doesn't feel right when I try it on therightside because my mouth isn't…symmetrical. haha Mybottom teeth can'tgoall the wayintothe dipof the top tooth on the right because of other teeth in the way. So I have to keep going back to the left side, pressing the bottom teeth into the groove in the top tooth all the more because I can't do the same thing on the other side! The insanity of it!

On a good note, I've brushed my teeth two days in a row. Yay! I forced myself to do it really quickly today, reminding myself that doing a "bad" job is better than not doing it at all, which is what I would've done otherwise.

Last night was a hard night. All the pain of losing my kitty came back to me like it had just happened (though it happened nine months ago). I cried and cried and cried…. Cried so hard, my nose started bleeding. (Of course, I'd had a nosebleed the day before, so no surprise that it would start again with much irritation.) Then I was trying to clean the blood out of the carpet while holding a wad of toilet paper on my nose. That carpet is already dirty and we don't really care what it looks like since that room isspecifically for the pets. But I just kept working on it, 'cause it gave me something to let my frustrations out on. I didn't want to go to bed because Ijust kept thinking of that I wanted to go to bed and be comfortedby my mom's cat Kasey. But he died last year, too. Sohe wouldn't be there. It makes me want to scream….

Anyway, it was about 7am when I finally went to bed. It was good to have that long, goodcry, while telling my new cat abouta lot of what happened the day myother cat died. It hurt like crazy, but it needed to come out. Had a pretty good day today, besidesbeing an idiot and avoiding calling my doctor to tell him how I'm doingon the prozac. I really need to call him. What isso stinkin'hard about making that one silly littlephone call???Maybeit's that I don't know what tosay. Hey, doc, I'mfeeling good, I'm feelinganxious,I'm havingweird dreams–nope, those have mostly stopped. I've been stinkin' sick for the lastseveral days, but I'm getting better. I'mSO CONFUSED!!!! lol Ugh.