I have an account on anxiety tribe but seen as I also suffer depression quite alot, i thought why not have an account here too and try get my feelings written down so people understand. I cant talk to my family and ive been more open with my problems to people at work (managers etc. So im allowed extra time off or breaks). I have been through it with my now ex. but the reason hes an ex and no longer my bestfriend which we stayed close for a while is because he cant handle my problems. And i think deep down i don't blame him, although i still love and care for him, i know im only thinking of myself. K just want all my issues to be gone and we could have had a future. Im still heartbroken and depressed over it. And im trying to be happy but i I. Is it wrong to love someone but not be happy for them having a better life without you in it? A part of me wants to be happy hes living his life, moving on. But its not with me so im not happy for him :/ is this normal or am I the worst human being ever? People have brought me down and bullied me or generally took the piss out of me. Im fed up. This girl, my exs brothers girlfriend, fancies my ex. I just know it, and I do suffer paranoia but I can see it. To top it off, ive been banned from his mums house, where he lives and I was told she had too. But to my surprise I discover she's living there. So she's now my exs new housemate. Of course I hate it! It makes me so angry and upset and i just want her gone. For good would be nice but I know that'd never happen. She's scrounging. She can find a place to live but she aint looking. I know she did it on purpose to go live there. And yeah I took it out on my ex and I shouldn't have, I should have took it out on his mum. but I couldnt help it. what makes me more fed up is that he isn't speaking to me no more and claims he hates her but sees her and speaks to her everyday. But not me. And we had the connection. I really wish karma would kick in for get ruining my life. Alot of other shit kicked off with her nearly getting us killed. But everyone is so forgiving of her and thinks she's a saint. I see through the sweet ACT. because thats what it is, but others are brainwashed. I dont even know what to do. Im torn apart as it is after losing him but I dont know what to do now. No one ever listens. I've been right about many people they've accused me of being “paranoid” about but they dont want to believe me on this one. Im right. I am. She's a slag, sleeps around. I know these people and I see the signs that others are oblivious to. What do I do? I just get accused of being paranoid, but although I do suffer from it as there are times I make complete delusional shit up. But I dont think its as bad as people make me out to be because alot isn't paranoia, its come true. Like predictions. Im beginning to sound crazy. But Im just stuck. Don't know what to do anymore.

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