For those of u who have followed my blogs, u know by now that I love to laugh … it is after all, the best medicine according to the experts … so. awayyyyy we go ….
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed."I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'""Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!""I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"
A father was reading a Bible story to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" (lol, kids!)
Drunk and the baptismal
A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.
The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preacher..I sure am."
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I did not Reverrend."
The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The ole drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher… "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Hahahaha, ok ok … time to fix some dinner … bbl …
p.s. I wasnt really listening to that song, watching Dr. Oz … oh never mind …