I don't know what to do…i don't know what Im going to tell people, ok yes i know what im going to tell people but i don't know how im going to tell them.  Confronting people about an unplanned pregancny, especially when you have so many doubts about the unborn child's father is hard enough at the best of times but its double hard with OCD and asperger's when you don;'t quite know how to prioritise and don't quite know how to confront ppl about the smallest of things let alone something like this.  i have a lot to think about and a lot to plan, plus i am exhausted and have the intrusive thoughts that were always there that make it even harder and i still have to complete my OCD rituals (those which i can't differentiate between an necessity of day to day life. 

I have ample things to worry about, the fact i don't know whether i am in love with my partner, don 't know whether i can actually atnd to live with him, i don't know where im going to live as im in a house share now, i don't know anything but at the moment my biggest fear is the confrontation, telling my father that im having a kid, my brother and the rest of my family.  Im  26 years old, not a child but they ve always treated me like an irresponsible child and waited for me to mess up and expected me to make the worst possible choices in life and then i do.  I ve always been see as the irresponsible one and ppl always expect the worse even tought i work so hard to get it right…i never do. 

As i have said  before this pregnancy was not exactly planned but have had health scares and questions about my fertility so it felt like fate.  I felt as soon as our "accident" had happened that i might be pregnant this month because of timing… I know full well, that me and my partner are far from the ideal situation to have a child and thought about taking the morning after pill…but couldn't bring myself to do it incase it was meant to be and my only chance. And here it is..im pregnant…so it kind of feels like fate…but im so worried.

i don't know how i am going to tell my father or brother for obvious reasons i don't k now what to do but the main thing that is blocking me…is at the grand old age of 26, i can't stand the thought of ppl knowing i ve had sex….the embarrasment is so crippling that i can't function normally, csan't make the right decisions because i can't get past this huge obsticle……

 

2 Comments
  1. ancientgeekcrone 11 years ago

    You have some serious issues, including the one of you being able to care for a child; especially in the throes of an ocd episode.  You have another issue, you mentioned that the baby's father tends to be very controlling.  I do not know if that would lead to cicumstances in which you and the child would thrive; even if there  were no issues of ocd and Asperger's.  It also sound that with or without a spouse; you would need financial aid.  This would probably be easier to secure withot a spouse. Finally, there is the possibility of an emotionally disabled mother raising an emotionally disabled daughter.  It really doesn't  sound very promising,\"\" 

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  2. DaRkAnGeL_2 11 years ago

    Not very encouraging but thanks 🙁

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