Today I did an increase on the Abilify and I have hopes that this will be the medication that helps me to turn the corner back into somekind of normal, whatever that is. It is a new medication for me and this is the first increase. Seems like it is working for me.
I am a 'mixed manic' and even tho the depression is there, I am still showing many signs of being manic. It is awful to have such a short temper, being so bitchy, and being diven inside to spend, spend, and spend.
Went to the grocery store today, with a list and I am so happy to share that I stuck to the list, and didn't just aimlessly wander through the store, throwing in all kinds of things that really were not needed. Was a great feeling when I got home.
I count my victories because I work hard to reach them. They don't just happen for me. I have to plan, think, get prepared to win the war in my mind. I do love winning, I might add. Sometimes like everyone else I just blow it and there is nothing I can do to fix it. That is a dangerous stop for me.
I wish I could share this kinda happy feeling inside that I have tonight, it is not a manic happy, but more of a calmness or peaceful feeling inside. It is neat, and I like it. This has been a very long heavy manic period for me, for almost a year. Tough pull, but I think the worst is behind me.
If I could share one thing with everyone right now it would be: keep moving forward, never give up. Everything changes….. do something now that makes you feel better.