It's been one thing after another. I wish all this crap would just stop. I wish things would get better but it seems that everything just gets worse and worse.

My sister-in-law talked to my brother's fiancee and she said that the 'plan' is for my brother to move up to Indiana where she lives. This was never the agreement because for about a month now we've been looking for houses here for them to live. My brother has a great job and his fiancee doesn't work, so it should be a no-brainer for her to move down here.

Well, her parents are controlling and manipulative. They want her to stay there and take care of her, or better yet for their interest, they want my brother to quit his job, move up there, and take care of them too. They could give a rats ass about us, they only think about themselves.

Well Mom found out and she confronted Matt about it. He said he didn't know anything about it but Mom thinks she's been betrayed since she was looking for houses. She just cried again and then Matt got angry with her.

So I don't know what will happen, but his fiancee's parents are the ones responsible for all this crap. They don't understand that she needs to take care of herself, fucking selfish assholes.

Warning – religious crap below.

 

And earlier today we had to sit through my grandparent's church service. We're Catholic and they're Baptist. It's pretty horrible.

Look, this isn't a bash on the Baptists but sitting there listening to the preacher condemn everything that isn't Baptist really pissed me off. You gotta understand that I practice Buddhism in addition to Christianity, and Baptists are the worst at fearmongering and closed-mindness when it comes to other religions or even other denominations of Christianity. They profess love but all I see is hatred toward anyone who isn't 'them'. And yes, my grandparents think me and my family are going straight to hell because we're Catholic and not Baptist. What a world…

Well anyway, Mom was crying through it too because all they talked about was how wonderful a year 2010 was (bullshit, I lost my dad and cousin, it was a fucking terrible year) and how we're all sinners and have to be saved by being Baptist. And all this taking the Bible out of context to justify being against everything, give us a damn break. "Oh it condemns [insert something here] in the Bible!" "The Bible speaks the truth about [insert something here]!" Whatever, when you take Bible quotes out of context, you can explain anything. I bet you can explain how EVOLUTION works by taking the Bible out of context.

The part of the sermon I hated the most was when the preacher was talking about how Baptists sing the loudest of all the faiths and how other religions don't have music in their practices and how terrible that is because they can't be joyous. Look asshole, there's other ways to worship a god than singing as loudly and as pompously as you can. Buddhists, Hinduists, Muslims, they practice meditation and silent prayer. It kind of requires silence, to LISTEN rather than to keep your mouth open. It opens ourselves up to be more observant and PEACEFUL toward others, instead of condemning everything and everyone who don't follow what you do.

 

I'm probably getting in trouble on here because of the paragraphs above but I just can't stand Baptists. I can't stand people who claim to be all for peace and love and then say such terrible things about other people who practice something other than what they practice.

Please accept my apology on the words above.  I spoke with a Buddhist teacher on the matter and got some good advice that I will share below in blue.  Since I was attending a ceremony outside of my belief, I should have just not listened to the sermon instead of letting it get to me.  It was wrong for me to get upset about the words spoken.

The other thing going on is that my aunt is here on vacation, and my cousin and uncle keep calling her for everything, even in the middle of the night. When they can't get hold of her, they call our house and ask for her. Give the woman a damn break.

My cousin has become the biggest douchebag in our family. Yes, he lost his brother (my cousin who passed away in August), but the way he's handling it is completely wrong. He is angry at everyone, he sits in his room all day, doesn't go to school, doesn't do anything but sit there and does drugs. I think all of us have practically given up on him, even my aunt, who quite frankly said, "I don't care what he does anymore." He's just a fucking asshole for putting my aunt through a living hell after my cousin's death. He thinks he's the only one suffering here. I JUST LOST MY DAD TO CANCER, and I'm not reacting the same way he is. I'm not going to drugs and sitting around doing nothing.

What a waste.

 

Anyway, I needed to get all that off of my chest. It's been a terrible day and I'm having a very tough time taking care of Mom with everything going on. I wish things would just get better, I don't understand why this life is punishing us over and over.

 


Me: mind if i ask a question too? its just some general information i'd like to know
Buddhist Teacher: sure
Me: well, what do you think toward others who are opposed to your beliefs?
Buddhist Teacher: i do not think anything
Me: hmm…
Buddhist Teacher: if you know reality
Me: well the situation i had today was that i had to attend my grandparent's religious service
Buddhist Teacher: ok, please explain
Me: i'm catholic in addition to practicing buddhism, but they are baptists, so sitting in the ceremony the preacher seemed to demoralize anything that wasn't baptist.  he even went to say that their ceremony was better than pagan ceremonies because they sing loudly.  something about pagans not having music, which i didn't understand, but i just don't know how not to get angry about what they say
Buddhist Teacher: did you say something
Me: no, i kept my thoughts to myself
Buddhist Teacher: good
Buddhist Teacher: to answer your question
Me: it seems like a shame that some are so closed minded when it comes to other religions, even when they profess love for everyone
Buddhist Teacher: many people say many things.. you went there for respect to your grandparents, not for the teachings.. that is enough to know that everything else doesnt matter 🙂
Me: ah i understand
Me: so don't let it get to me and let them practice without it affecting my thoughts?
Buddhist Teacher: if i go to someones house, and they say wrong things, it is not for me to correct them.. they did not come to me, i went to them.
Buddhist Teacher: if you do not like what you hear, do not go to that place.. if you are going to that place for other reasons, then do not listen to what is being said
Me: i didn't think about it that way
Buddhist Teacher: if someone comes to me, and asks me, and says wrong things, then i will correct them
Buddhist Teacher: but not the other way around 🙂
Me: i see, then i should not be so upset about it. it's their practice an not mine
Buddhist Teacher: yes
Buddhist Teacher: respect the owner of the house 🙂
Buddhist Teacher: if you go to someones house and it is dirty, it is the same thing.  you cannot tell them to clean up, it is not your house, you can only leave
Me: thank you, i understand your way of looking at it now. i will try to be more respectful if it ever comes up again where i am asked to attend
Buddhist Teacher: this will make your mind stronger, and your practice stronger, and will give you more motivation, and less doubt
Buddhist Teacher: no problem 🙂
Me: mhmm, i am glad i asked about it then
Buddhist Teacher: anytime
Me: i would have been dwelling all night
Buddhist Teacher: we are all here to learn

1 Comment
  1. Kupkake 10 years ago

    Your Buddhist teacher seems a very wise person.  I had the same experience, only in reverse.  I'm a Wesleyan and went to mass with a friend a few years back and it was not pleasant for me.  I felt insulted when I was denied communion because of not being Catholic, despite my still being a Christian.  But, as your mentor said, "If you do not like what you hear, do not go to that place." 

    I don't know what to tell you about the situation with your brother.  IMO, it should be between he and his wife.  My sister and brother-in-law used to be in the same boat.  Parents lived a considerable distance away, yet, each one wanted them home for the holidays.  Every time they stayed with one's parents, the other parents got miffed about it.  Maybe the feeling is mutual between their parents?

    I really hope that, in the end, you all find peace through all of this.  Things always have a way of working out.

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