I’m new here but like the "other" Tribe I’m on, I realize that the more I put in the more I get back.   I’ve been diagnosed and am being treated for bi-polar with a tendency to swing down into the depressive side, ADHD and GAD.  The GAD comes and goes and the ADHD is just a big pain in my a$$ cause I’m always always losing stuff.  It gets in the way of my day to day functioning ability because I spend so much time hunting keys, did I take my meds??, forgetting appointments, losing my Visa constantly…..its so debilitating.  However, the thing that seems to really effect me is the depression that comes with the bi-polar.  It’s getting some better b/c we’ve just changed meds (Symbyax)
but they make me sleep till like 1 and 2 pm during the day (I take it at night) . The depression comes from no where and it imobilizes me.  I will miss appointments, sleep all day, I don’t eat or interact with anyone and I must feel shame because I catch myself lying about it.  If my b/f is out of town, I’ll tell him all these things I’ve gotten accomplished, I’ll tell the person I missed the appointment with some lame "I got sick" excuse.  I’ve been told esp by my significant other that it’s nothing to be ashamed of but I feel real shame when I get stuck like that.  I guess on some level I beat myself up b/c I have so much to be greatful for if I write it down on paper but depression to me feels like a cold wet heavy blanket that someone sneaks up behind me and throws over my head.  I’m actually freezing when I’m depressed….it’s like I can literally feel the "depression blanket". Usually I’ll get out of it after a week or so but it has landed me in the hospital on more than one occasion.  I’m wide open for suggestions and any interaction with anyone that has anything to share or relate

1 Comment
  1. cindy0607 11 years ago

    Thanks Little.  It always feels  better when you put yourself out there a little bit and get validation merely by knowing they aren”t alone or CRAZY. I really relate to the grocery store thing.  I hate big stores in general the worst being Wal-Mart. I always always fight down a panic attack when I go into one.  For me, with ADHD, it”s sensory overload and overwhelming and then the heart palpatations, shortness of breath….well you get the picture it sounds like. I”m here to offer a hand when I can and grab someone elses if need be.  A biggie for me is that with few exceptions we are here among friends who know  what we”re talking about and has experienced a lot of what is read here.   In other words, it”s a level of understanding and sometimes that”s all we really need some days.

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