Today I woke up to my boyfriend's mom screaming from downstairs for him to wake up and move his car so that his mom can park her van in the driveway (even though the rest of the street was empty when I got up and looked outside). So he got up and started looking for the key, he couldn't find it so I helped look for it…the entire time we were looking for the key his mom was yelling from down staris "Hurry up!" "Did you get the keys yet?" "What's taking so long?" So that was just an unplesent way to wake up. And the best part is that he moved his car from the drive way and onto the street, she then got into her car and left…didn't park in the driveway, she wasn't blocked from leaving, she just woke us up so that he could go move the car from the driveway…

I went downstairs and the foster kids were crying. I guess they're still going through withdrawls, so that's really bad. And the adopted brother didn't help the matter. He kept throwing things and hitting everyone. Then finally when his mom came back he started crying as well because she wasn't showing him a bunch of attention. She was holding the baby and he started wedging himself between her and the baby. But whatever, I could go on and on about my problems on how she's raising the adopted son. But ya…even now the adopted brother is throwing a tantrum and I can still hear him all the way in the attic.

This house is never quiet. Someone is always up and always making noise. Be it kids or adults. Like last night, my boyfriend's brother had a friend over, she was SO loud! I was in our room and we could hear everything she was saying, and it wasn't nice. It was nice though when he told her to stop talking and stop being a bitch. Apparently she had seen my boyfriend and then his brother told her that he's with me and then she saw me on my back to the room, but the entire time we were just sitting there in our room listening to her talk smack about me and how ugly and fat I am and how she doesn't see why I even have a boyfriend…etc. It was nice when his brother told her to stop talking and stood up for me. It made me feel like people really do care.

Someone is always up in the house, even when I go downstairs or something somone is always up, usually it's either one of the kids crying or it's my boyfriend's brother or dad. Then during the day it's like almost everyone disappears except for the kids and the grandma and me.

Me and my boyfriend have been  talking more. We've been talking about moving back to California. He's trying to get a different job that he can transfer in, like his job now, if he changes from sales person to an installer then he could transfer. But anyways, we've just been talking alot about moving and everything. I think the main thing is just moving out of this house and getting a place of our own. It would be nice…having a place of our own, I'd be able to clean it the way I want, put the food that I want in there, just do what I want. Oh! that just reminded me of something, the past few nights I've been going to bed late, but whenever I go to the kitchen for some water the counters are always covered with a bunch of ants, it's disgusting! And the reason why they're there is because there is food left on the counters, not in a can on the counter, or even on a plate on the counter, but just good sized pieces of food left on the counter. To me that's absolutely disgusting, I brought it up to my boyfriend and his brother and they just shrugged and said that they're just ants, and that it happens all the time. To me that's disgusting, you think that with people up all the time that they'd at least clean.

So anyways…wanna know what's funny? Me and my boyfriend have been talking alot about what we'd do if we had a kid. I find it funny because my boyfriend keeps saying that he'd never have a kid with me or ever get married with me (long story, but basically he's still living in a fantasy world about everything and has fantasy expectations). But I just find it funny because he says that he'd never have a kid with me or get married and all, yet then he talks about it like it's happening or that like it's going to happen for sure. I just find it funny…so ya…I'm really bored and just trying to kill some time until I can use the phone to check on some applications…I miss having a cellphone, if I had one right now then I would have called all of those places by now.


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