Here comes my main issue, how do you tell someone what is wrong with you?

I have never actually been diagnosed with OCD but I know that is what is wrong with me. I guess I never liked the idea of being labelled. I didn't want people to constantly watch the things I do once they found out. How do I tell my boyfriend?? We've been together for 5 years now and he has no idea. I don't know how I have managed to hide it from him, butI have. He notices some things but must just think they are normal or that I am just extra in order with things. I am very afraid that it will be too much for him and he will leave me. I know that if he truly loves me he will stay with my, I know this. But the fear is still there. Is it wrong to never tell him? I feel like one day I will have to. I have come close a few times to telling him but for some reason I just can't get the words out. My best friend today doesn't even know and she knows almost everything there is to know about me. I would like to get help but before I can seek professional help I need to tell him, otherwise questions will be asked as to why I am seeing a therapist etc. Does anyone out there that is seeing a therapist have any advice? Is it worth it? Does it actually help you? Or is it something I can continue to try to do on my own? How do you sit your loved ones down and tell them? Does anyone know if it is something you can pass down to your children? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

7 Comments
  1. coffeedad 10 years ago

    Hey there, as I said to you earlier today, there is nothing "wrong" with you.  you're just very good at counting 😉  Seriously, you need to get help.  OCD is a monster and you can't fight it alone.  You need medication followed by intense therapy.  it's a boatload of work, but if you are up for it; you may actually get some of your life back.  If you've been with your boyfriend for 5 yrs, he probably already noticed some of your quirks if they're as strong as you say.  My suggestion would be you tell your boyfriend and your family.  You might want to do that either before or after getting medical help; I found personally that telling the family is taken more seriously when there's a medical diagnosis behind it.  For me, I was told "no, you just like things a certain way; I'm the same way" by my mother.  That was years ago, now she is a good support to me.  Either way, I think we will all agree, your coming here is a great first step!  Hopefully, meeting some of us and hearing our stories will help you not feel like something is wrong with you.  Best of luck however you proceed!

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  2. crazycatlady106 10 years ago

    Thank you coffeedad..

    You were actually able to make me smile about this for the first time. You would think if I was so good at counting I would have been better at math.. lol Well, my goal is to tell my boyfriend. I would like to tell him before telling my family. We have talked marriage and I feel I need to tell him the truth about me before that becomes an option for us. The closest I have come to telling him was during a fight. He kept asking me why I won't tell him things (things is general) and I almost told him. I feel that is the wrong time to tell him but it seems like the only time I come close. Suggestions?

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  3. coffeedad 10 years ago

    yeah, I wouldn't suggest telling him you have OCD in a fight.  If it's that hard to talk about for you, write him a letter, get him a card, etc..  You absolutely don't need to go into details about it; my wife still doesn't know all my rituals and she never will.  All he needs to know is that you have this and it's difficult for you. 

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  4. crazycatlady106 10 years ago

    So you didn't tell her everything? Hmm that's good to know. I've always thought it could be a little overwhelming. How did you explain it to her without having to tell her your rituals?

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  5. coffeedad 10 years ago

    I learned the hard way not to tell her (or anyone) everything.  I made the mistake of telling my wife about obsessive thoughts involving my newborn daughter being harmed…   Obviously I didn't want to think these things, but it's like a horror movie on replay that I can't stop!  I don't recommend you share things like that.  My wife knows I count, I check, and she knows some of the things I check (and helps me break out of it).  It's your discretion but I don't recommend full disclosure

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  6. DotA 10 years ago

    Hi, Crazycatlady

    I think my family knew I have something because I wear gloves all the time spring, winter summer my bare hands could not touch anything. My sister would always say why are you wearing those hot ass glovers and I would say that is dirty. she respond  everything is dirty  there are germs everywhere but for me its more than that I just can not get myself to touch anything no matter how hard I tried. work is the worst because I am a teacher I swear when things drop on the floor I have my students pick it up or just leave it there or kick it under the desk. I cant bare to pick anything up off the ground. I wrote in my  blog how I am trying to tackle my OCD on my own before I see a therapist which is this week Monday July 9, so I will post my tips that therapist give me to help others.  I also have this obsession about rechecking the door to make sure its lock and I think it has to do with my OCD and my apartment was broken into once so I am constantly going three or four times checking my door. I swear I am down the street and I will go back and check the door the thought   stays in my head did you lock the door and I have to make myself  think about something else cause I will always think my door isnt lock.  So I cant wait  to see my therapsit to get help. I dont want to take medication I want  talk and find a way to braek this habit I have of obsessing about things.

     

     

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  7. DotA 10 years ago

    I have this ritual I swear my boyfriend cannot kiss me without brushing his teeth. We lived togetherand when he came home and sits on  the bed with clothes he had on all day I freak out. to me the bed is dirty we would get into argument because he sat on the bed with dirty clothes on. I had to change the sheets everything on the bed.

    one time my brother came over he threw his coat on my bed I have air mattress I swear I could not sleep on the mattress. I took it back to the store and brought another one I just knew there were germs all over my mattress. I rarely have people over my house cause you have to go through a ritual if you come wash your hands, take off your shoes, dont touch my stuff, use handisanitizer so I dont invite people over my house.

    I never told my boyfriend I have OCD and I am not sure he knew he never question me about it he would laugh when I told him not to touch stuff which make me even madder. I think I should have told him and maybe he would have understood but not sure.  we are no longer together so I dont know.  but I think if the guy you are with now really loves you he should understand and know what you have and what you are going through. I  think he will accommodate you with your OCD.

    II am having my first therapy session I cant wait I am nervous, anxious and excited. I will post on my blog my therpay session

    Dot

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