i lost my dad 2 years ago to suicide after he became very depressed n started drinking  n i havent felt the same since he left. im sad every single time i think about him n every other night i cry, im too scared to talk to anyone else about it because they wont understand coz no one else i know has ever lost someone this way. i also dont really know what to say, i feel as tho people feel sorry for me n dont know what to say to me coz i may end up getting upset but im probably just being paranoid.  i miss him very much n all i wish is to be able to hug him again. i think im even more sad recently because soon marks the 2 years of his death and with everything going on with the coronavirus, and the horrible racism in america and lockdown has got me so stressed n i dont know how to calm down.