I saw my CPN on Tuesday, she was really nice, once again she talked about how I needed to trust her, she said that she trusts me, but … I don’t know.
I said to her, that i find it hard to trust, I know she is there to help me, but when i have to sit and spill all my darkest secrets to her and she tells me nothing in return, its hardly a mutual thing. I accidentally called her a stupid woman during my rant, but she laughed… luckily.
Today I went to see my doctor to get my prescription. I also asked to see a nurse as I had put my hand through a window and it was cut up and needed a bandage and the receptionist kept asking me all these questions about self harm infront of others, so I told her that I would go elsewhere. Great support from the doctors as usual.
Ended up at some walk in centre and they stitched me up and got me sorted, only now they are forwarding things to my CPN and I really can’t be doing with it.
During my session I stold my CPN that I felt like a child, so immature and moody and sulky and I am 22 but look about 18 and it really bothers me, I just want to feel like an adult, like i fit in with my peers, but I don’t, and to make things worse, she has suggested that next week we draw instead of talking. She said she doesn’t know how to reach out to me, and thinks it will be a good idea. She wants me to draw things from my life… what, like abuse, rape and hurt. I don’t think so and drawing will make me feel even more childish. Uuuh, im confused
I feel for you. I am also 22 and don”t hardly fit in with my peers. I think it more deals with the fact that I look like I”m 17 or 18, have a brother that age and everyone thinks he could be my older sibling. I know it takes a while to trust in people, especially after experiences dealing with rape – been there too. 🙁 But as corny as it sounds, they ARE there for you to trust. Next appointment, come in with an open mind. The drawings they have asked for show a lot more than what you think. I wish you only the best and hope things get better for you.
Hey science. I just turned 23 and i feel like that all the time. Immature and moody. I wish I fit in also.
xxx Jac.
Drawing can free the soul actually. It”s amazingly good for you. It isn”t a cure of course, but I find that drawing does a lot to help me get my mind off the crap that is everyday life.
The blank page is YOUR universe, so what you say goes in it. You draw what you want to draw. Funny stuff, cute stuff, horrific stuff – it doesn”t matter – all that matters is you control the whole thing. It does help get your mind off of things and it can also be very theraputic – say you have a rough day and you”re ticked off at the world. Draw something violent, like a violent cartoon for instance, and afterwards you may have a laugh about it and feel much better.
What she is doing I believe is art therapy (or at least planning to). Give it a shot even though you think it”s bogus. At least you can spend the time being creative. You can mess with her head. 🙂
Hope things get better.