Well, I’m nervous as fuck. Suppossedly our apartment is a pretty safe bet, when it comes to hurricanes, but I don’t like that this is a category four, that none of our windows are boarded up. I couldn’t find a way to board mine up. I’m on the third floor and, right outside, where our trash should be, in the parking lot, outside our windows, is a dumpster seriously full of debris from old broken furniture and bed boxes that has me all nervous. I wish I hadn’t noticed it, then I’m glad I did because I need to be ready, right? You see, my plan was to just chill, sleep. I have Valerian and I have tequila. I have books and candles. I have the necessary means to relax myself but how how can I relax when that pile of projectiles is right outside my window?!?? That freaks me out (Like, how am I supposed to let my guard down, to sleep????) and I’ve been through plenty of hurricanes before. I come from Puerto Rico, so we’re used to them, but I always pass them with people. I’m by myself, this time. The first time in experiencing a hurricane all by myself… I mean… there’s my cat, so that’s one comfort, and then I went into total hoarding mode when it came to buying canned food and I used up a lot more money than I should have. I’m real mad at myself for that because I was happy October came because it gave me a new financial chance than September did, which was miserable but, nope! Had to sabotage myself with anxiety and I know I’m being hard on myself, it’s just it feels like this is the only venue I can be completely honest in and about how I feel, right now. I feel like, if I tell my family members, what’s going through my head, like, that’s not gonna do anyone good, I don’t think. It might do me good to vent but there’s not much anyone else can do. Funny thing, my Dad texted me from no-contact, of course, because he was worried and that’s understandable but he said he’d be willing to pick me up if anything happened and here I am, feeling all abandoned and shit, & the guy that I cut from contact is offering me this but I gotta remember why I wanted to cut cords, because he’s good at providing certain things but it all comes at a very steep price. I love him and at least it’s nice to know that I’m not left forgotten. I know my sisters are thinking about me and my parents or, I don’t know that my Mom’s worrying a lot; she’s asleep already. My grandparents called me too, so we’ll see. I just have to ride this out, trying to not amp myself up, more than I should. It’s probably gonna be fine but, to all of you out there, going through this hurricane too, stay safe. Stay close to your loved ones. I hope this passes by quick and doesn’t do any terrible damage. Until next time, Alex.

2 Comments
  1. sullengirl76 6 years ago

    Hang in there! We don’t have hurricanes where I live, but we do have severe thunder storms, lightening storms, wind storms and hail storms – and the occasional tornado. When I lived alone, I used to get really nervous during stormy nights. I’m not proud of it, but I used to take a pillow and blanket into the bathroom and sleep right there on the floor or in the tub (if it was dry by then). My bathroom had no windows and, because of all of the piping and what-not, it was the safest room in my apartment. I guess, if you’re really worried, you could try finding a closet or bathroom to sleep in. It sounds weird, but if it helps you get rest while you “ride out” this hurricane, then it’s all good.

    I’ll keep you (and everyone else in Matthew’s path) in my thoughts and prayers!!

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  2. Author
    alexsophia88 6 years ago

    Wow. Hailstorms sound intense! Thank you, so much, for your kind words and thoughts, btw. Luckily, I was ok. The hurricane didn’t hit us a hard as I thought it was going to, which is great. I do feel bad for those who actually got the brunt of it though. It’s funny ’cause you were telling me about the bathtub thing and I was ready to hide in the closet with pillows and possibly a mattress too! I hope you’re well and thank you for taking the time to read my blog. 🙂

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