This has been a busy week. I opened my own checking and savings accounts, and got a debit/credit card. I got my drivers license a few weeks ago, and am now waiting for my AAA insurance membership card to come in the mail. I went to school today to buy all my textbooks for next semester, my first at college, and to get a library card. I’ll be a full time student, taking 15 credit hours (middle of the road for a full timer), and I am very excited for the challenge. I also went in today to see a family friend that owns a store to see if they needed any help, and they gave me an application to fill out. It sounded like he didn’t really need anyone right now, but he said he would see what he could do for me, and if he can get something for me worst comes to worst I just won’t have many hours. And as I’m just starting college, I don’t want very many hours anyway, so for now that’s fine. I’m hoping that’ll work out because it’s very close to home, and I’d like to walk to work if I can to help the environment. (Not to mention it’s cheaper not to pay for gas to drive XD). And he’s very flexible with hours, so if I get overwhelmed I won’t be fired on the spot if I need to change my schedule.

My parents are still not pleased about me being a full time student. But I am planning on transferring to a top university in two years, and if I can’t handle it I need to know now. And honestly I don’t expect it’ll be too much trouble. It’ll be a challenge, which I welcome, but I think I can do it. I didn’t tell my parents I asked Keith for a job. I don’t intend to tell them until it comes up. It’s not really their business. I’m 18 years old, I don’t need their permission, I don’t need them to drive me, I am a college student, and the fact that I still live in their house is a technicality that would not be had they not been so deceptive about college over the years. I need to prepare to transfer to CA in two years, and I am going to do it whether they believe I can or not. My limitations are not their business. And if they are going to be so down on me on my accomplishments, those wont be their business either. Not until they learn to be more encouraging. I don’t need them to bring me down every time I try to grow. I am not happy with my life right now, and I am trying to take steps to change it and make it better and be more confident in myself. I will not let them smack me down every time I try to stand up on my own. They have absolutely no reason not to believe in my ability to take care of myself. Hell, the only thing that’d make life difficult is my OCD, and they don’t even believe I have that despite being diagnosed by their doctor.

It feels good to be doing things on my own. I’m thrilled about having my own bank accounts and being able to manage my own money. I put $700 in savings, and $50 in checking. I have a few hundred more to put in savings next time I go to the bank, and I’ll be adding my paychecks to checking. I’ve got a few checks the bank gave me when I opened my account, but I’ve got to go order a box. My debit/credit card should be coming in the mail soon. The idea of not having to rely on someone else is SO amazing. Because even though accepting help when you need it is okay, I’m tired of being treated like I need someone to help me with everything, or I’ll fail. It’s not true. I am fully capable of doing LOTS of things by myself. And I feel like by doing these things, maybe it’ll prove it to my parents.

Hopefully, anyway. Because I can’t live like this. I’ll end up distancing myself further and further, and I don’t really want to do that. The family is dysfunctional enough without me making it worse. So hopefully they’ll see all that I’m doing without them and realize that, believe it or not, I am not completely inept.

  1. Rose 16 years ago

    Congrats and I belive in you and that ur going to do very well.

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  2. mattbenjamin50 16 years ago

    Good for you and have a hug. That is a very important step out there. Keep in mind you do have resources to help you. You have the unemployment office to help you, that is a good resource, depending on your severity of OCD, you may be able to apply for social security benefits, if finding work becomes difficult, and I think because ocd is protected by the american disability Act and civil rights act of 1968. It may not be a ton of money, but some is better then non. I would encourage yo to talk to a eeoc counsler about your ocd, so employers and others don’t discriminate you for you mental disorder. I also would encourage you not to be abgry towards your parents. That is not healthy. Even if they fail to understand your disorder. I tel people I have OCD, and they assume I am lying. since I been on this site, I have come to understand that others have the same problem. I don’t agree with many of the dissions my parents made, but i never stopped loving them. Even though they are your parents, you still see them through the eyes of a child. Children speak from the heart, and Older people speak from the mind. try not to see it as them vs you. tyey to see it as, they see your life through a different set of eyes and mind. Never forget you are your own person. Life is hard, and the better network of people you have around you, even if the piss you off, sometimes, isn’t a bad thing. Life hits really hard, what matters is, that you get back up.

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  3. Adra 16 years ago

    nice one hun. knew u could do it. gratz. yeah i stayed at home with parents for 2 years of uni and it wasnt much fun. they had to learn that inside their home they had rules but outside was none of their business.

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  4. Lalaya 16 years ago

    well done 🙂

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