Well Hey, unless you haven't guessed i'm new at this… lol
Just at the stage now that I will try anything to help… my "craziness" is becoming overwhelming…
I spose it all started when I was about 10 – I dont think I have ever been happy really, I dont have something major to say, nothing has really happened in my life, so I cant understand or justify why I am this way… all I know is that I am…. I am a smiler, I always have been, look so together on the surface, yet totally broken under it.
When I was younger, I would come home from school and just cry.. and cry.. I never really had a reason, I would just cry til I fell asleep, I just thought that behavior was normal… I would have mood swings, but I was a teenager, its what we did.
Then I moved out, started university and my life was brilliant… but I was still sad – still crying. Went to the Docs and got diagnosed with being Clinically Depressed. Funnily enough my whole school years I didnt believe in it, thought that it didnt exist… but here I was – with it. And according to the Doc.. it aint going away anytime soon!
anyways 2 years have passed since then, 2 years including me quitting uni, Ash ripping my heart out and stomping on it, and one 12 month relationship with "the one" that came crashing down, and me having to move my whole life around.
Now I have major anxiety problems, they were only annoying before now its actually ruining my life. I worry about absolutely everything, then I have a panic attack. its not good lol. what is so annoying about it is that I can realise how rediculous I am being… but its still there, worrying I am gonna ruin everything.
anyways I am away to sleep…. comment or mail me… would be nice to know I aint really crazy… or maybe I am? lol