Im terrified, surrounded by people but still very alone
So much to talk about but so much silence spent
Why should I share how scared I am why should I let them know whats going on it would create worry not support?
I do not want to be treated like a sick person. I have so much Love to share but everyone is so busy with their lives Im not a part of it
I want to reach out I need a hug I need to laugh as much as I can and live large.
I am alone in this fear because I am afraid to share it I do not want to anger anyone and I do not want to confront it. I am trying to shove these fears into a chest and lock them away but as the days go by and I think about all the people I love and how far we have grown apart I fear I will not get to make up that lost time…will they ever know how much I think about them, how much I love them.
Why is it that I refuse to share the full details why is it I try so hard to ignore what is going on I want nothing more than to progress and live my life. I am so close to independence and so close to a life of my own.
I love the world Because of those in my life who make up my world are fantastic. I wish I were in a place where I had the abilities to take control, work, drive and be able to see those I want at my will and to not feel like such a burden when they have to go out of their way to see me. I am not happy that me being a part of some ones life is an expense to them I want to alleviate that trouble and have been working hard to do so but now I am terrified it will not happen fast enough and my efforts will have been a waste.