i had councelling on wednesday, talking through stuff with my counceller doest help me reslove the issues as such but, it helps my mind grasp whats going on. it helps me make sense of my emotions and innner most thoughts.

one thing came up was i told her i feli i was in the  wrong body.  not as in i think i should be in a mans body; but to explaine i need to explaine my belifes-

i believe in the soul. im a semi-spiritualist i guess you could say, so basically i believe that the soul is the enegry, that gives you life, you personality it makes you who you are- but the body is just a vessel designed to go fro point A to point B. [ in my eyes point B is you destiny, each body/ vessel is asigned a destiny/ destination.]  energy cant be destoyed, so when i die- my body has reached point B then my body will rot, and my energy/ soul will go back to this unlitmate energy source, and wen a new being is created be it a child, puppy, seed, or any for of organism then my enegry will be put into that new being.  .. i hope that makes sense.

i feel like my soul was not ment for this body. think of it as my energy,.. lets call it Gen. Gen was given a map to Child A , but got lost and was absorbed by Child B. so now Gen is in the wrong body, and she is not strong enough to with stand the life Child B is destined to have.  Gen is ment to be in Child A, who’s life course and destiny would allow Gen to reach her potential, to be happy.           thats the only way i can describe it really.

i feel like this body needs to let me; Gen, out so i can go back to the ultimate source and find another sutiable vessel.  bur i know if i kill myself its going to casue so much upset to my mum & dad who made me., this body. and yes half of my personality. i believe that your ‘parents’ create half of your personality, and the other half is your energy, and becasue your energy is only half, thats why you never remember your former life usually becasue you have to be whole minded which you not, each time you enter  a new body you gaing half a new mind. i sound crazy but thats wat i believe.