I don't know what to do anymore. I dont know who to talk to, who to ask for help. Who to believe and who to trust, who to hide from. I don't know how to put my feelings into words, I don't know if I should get off this medicine or stay on it. I don't know if I should end this now or suffer through it. I don't seem to know anything about myself, i don't know if I should quit cross country, I don't know which training method I should use this year, what shoes to buy, when to buy them. I don't know if I will submit this post. I don't know if people care about me. I don't know if I should wait till my appointment or go to the office tomorrow. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I am annoying people or making them mad, or if I'm sorry or I'm upset and angry. I'm not sure what I should write my paper on, or when I should start writing it. I don't know if I should try in anything anymore. Or if I will get my picture taken by Debbie or sharol. Or if I should talk or not talk. I'm so unsure of everything. And for the very first time, I'm wondering if things will ever get better. I want to be happy. Like the good old times,but was I ever happy? I can't remember. I'm stuck in my own mind and I don't know how else to get away from myself. What should I do? Will hurting myself release the pressure? I've never tried. I'm afraid to, I've always been the good kid. Who follows all the rules and I do all my homework. Gets good grades, participates in tons of extracurriculars. I hate myself. Won't that make me better? I don't know. 🙁 I miss my friend. I don't know if he wants to talk to me anymore. Either way, I will never be angry. I want the best for him. I want my mom and dad to realize that I love them. I want to live. I will live past this for my parents, my brothers, my friends, my teachers. I am strong. I am confident. I am lying to myself. I love everyone and hate everyone. I care and I don't. I am at loss for what to do. How will I get up in the morning and act like I am fine?